Letter to My Boys

When each of my boys turned one, in lieu of gifts we asked our friends and family to donate an interesting item to a time capsule that they will open on their 16th birthday. I intending on contributing a letter (handwritten of course) to say how special they each are to me, and lay out my hopes and dreams for them. Well, until now there was nary a letter to be seen. Every time I thought about what to write, it just didn't feel right. The sentences always started "I hope you..." or "I want you..." and I would immediately think about the expectations I am putting on them. There is no way to know what life will bring. What happens if they opened that letter at 16 that said "I hope you always do well in school" but they just failed their second semester of Algebra. The other day I began thinking about what I really hope for them, beyond the superficial; the things that really matter in this world aren't report cards or home runs. They aren't accomplishments, but ways of being, and I have a vital responsibility in creating the environment those "ways of being" can flourish within. Finally I have my letter to my boys.

Dear M & B,

I hope I have taught you that it’s okay to always be yourself; you have the right to express yourself freely without fear of judgment. I hope I’ve nurtured your confidence enough to weather what judgment may come, and the wisdom to value the opinions of those who love you above those who judge. I hope I’ve modeled tolerance and that my example has showed you how to embrace differences and respect all people. I hope I’ve passed along the importance of doing the right thing (even when it’s hard and unpopular), standing up for those who cannot stand up for themselves. I hope I’ve taught you compassion for those in need, and above all else to love unconditionally. I hope I’ve shown you that although this world is never fair and often disappoints, there is always a reason to be grateful. Most of all, I hope I’ve filled your heart with love and kindness and mercy. 

Love, 

Mom