30 on ... Staying Gold

"Nature's first green is gold, 

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower, 

But only so an hour. 

So leaf subsides to leaf, 

So Eden sank to grief.

As dawn goes down today,

Nothing Gold can stay." 

                         -Robert Frost

Anyone who truly knows me also knows that my all time favorite movie is "The Outsiders". This is not solely based on my life-long crush on Ralph Macchio I swear; I also love the book. One of the secondary themes in the story is "staying gold", which is first brought up by the above poem. Frost is basically saying when something is new (like the first green of spring) it's pure, precious, and innocent (like gold). But inevitably time surges on, things age and change and loose their luster. It's eloquently written and has a lot of truth to it, but is also somewhat depressing. 

It is inevitable that time marches on and we grow and change, often becoming jaded. We forget too quickly the innocence, the carefree nature of our youth. Life gets in the way, and all too often we get caught up in going through the motions to really appreciate the experiences we are having. It's easy to take ourselves too seriously. However, I believe we have some choice in Staying Gold. It's a conscious choice we have to make, and, like anything, some days are easier than others.

Here's my advice on Staying Gold. Maintain a sense of wonder and curiosity. As we age our bank of knowledge naturally grows, but if we stop asking questions life becomes dull. Staying gold means to sometimes take time to just be in the moment that's happening; don't always stress about what's scoming next. Allow yourself to be silly. Always have a dream; keep ambition in your heart to do something more. Never settle!! Once you've reached a goal, take time to celebrate the accomplishment, then set a new goal. Keep dreaming of things you want to do and actively work towards doing them. Even if you don't accomplish all of the things you want to do, the process of trying will be fulfilling enough to help keep your heart young and happy. Remember times of joy and happiness. And above all else, know that you are never defined by the sum of circumstances. Sometimes things just suck. And often we don't have a lot of control over those things. We always have control, however, to not allow those things to determine who we are or limit what we can do in life.

In the last verse of the theme song for the movie, Stevie Wonder sings "life is but the twinkling of an eye...". Don't let the twinkle fade out, and leave you sorrowful and dull. Stay Gold.

What does "stay gold" mean to you?

30 on ... Forgiveness

Forgiveness is such an intriguing concept to me. On the surface it seems relatively simple. Most people have a general idea of what the word means. I think the notion, though, is so much more dynamic than its common definition. Its meaning shifts and molds to the need of the person.

One repeated explanation I’ve heard (generally coming from a Dr. Drew or Oprah type) is that forgiveness is essential to letting go of painful or toxic emotions, and is almost solely for the benefit of the person doing the forgiving. It is NOT forgetting; it is NOT about assisting the other person clear their conscience or letting them ‘off the hook’. It IS a mechanism to allow you to move on with your life.

While I don’t entirely disagree, there are some fundamental differences in my definition of forgiveness. I do agree that it can help you move forward and let go of the past. But to me, forgiveness is about moving forward with more of a purpose; it says that your relationship with someone (past, present, and/or future) is worth more than their past transgressions. It IS intended to help absolve guilt that someone may harbor. Sometimes forgiveness comes as a byproduct of accepting your own responsibility in a situation. And, I believe, to be forgiven you have to show some sense of regret.

I have forgiven many people in my life, for small things and grand ones. I have forgiven both parents (for very different things) because being in my life, and my children’s lives, is much more important than anything they did or didn’t do in the past. I’ve forgiven a dear friend (and myself) for a falling out we had that caused some distance between us for a while because our history together is more valuable than one disagreement. The whole as our friendship is much more than one hiccup. I have even forgiven an ex- not because a current or future relationship depends on it, but because I have been able to assess the situation with some distance, accept my culpability, and realize reasons that we were both wrong.  All of this was for the sake of ‘moving on’ and/or strengthening my relationship with that person.

But not everyone is deserving of forgiveness. When I was young I was the victim of a series of traumatic events at the hands of one specific person. I will NEVER be able to forgive this person. Ever. The damage that was done is just far too great. He’s never been held accountable or shown an ounce of remorse. But even if he had, it wouldn’t matter. I do carry some resentment and even hatred in my heart. However, those negative feelings are very focused toward that ONE person. I don’t NEED to forgive him in order to be happy in my life. I may not have completely let go but I have moved on. I don’t allow the disdain for one person spill over into the other facets of my life. I have chosen to rise above the damage and focus on loving the people who truly mean something to me.

So, to me, forgiveness can definitely aid in guiding you through tricky waters, but it is not synonymous with being happy and having a healthy psyche. What does Forgiveness mean to you?

30 on.....

This blog was initially created out of a book idea I've mulled over for the past 7 years or so. (Read more about it here). It's pretty obvious when I started the blog it was relatively disorganized and the vision was somewhat unclear. I've slowly been making updates and changes to better align with my original ideas (which is also the reason behind the blog title). I will still post some random funny things, as well as Wednesday Rants. However you may notice more consistency and a slightly more serious tone to the writings. I hope you enjoy them as much as the other posts. And of course I always encourage your opinions in the comments section. I sincerely appreciate all the support you've all given me thus far. It truly means the world to me.

-Heather

Wednesday Rants: People who piss of Muslims

Okay, so I've gone missing the past two weeks. And my grad school app still isn't quite complete... forgive me for the not so timeliest of topics. Nonetheless, it is still important.

Dear Mr. I'm-going-to-make-a-video-that'll-piss-off-2.2 billion people,
WTF man? I mean really?? Thanks a lot from the rest of us Americans who have to face your consequences.

I get that part of this is an issue in free speech. I believe we do have the right to free speech, even if our opinion isn't necessarily popular. Political Correctness in our country can be a little overdone sometimes. That being said we are also obligated to exercise our rights and freedoms responsibly. We should think about what implications our expression of rights may have on the rest of our society. I get that you might dislike the Islamic religion, or hate the Muslim people (for whatever convoluted reasons you may have). But when you intentionally do something that essentially attacks the core values of nearly 1/3 of the world's population, you have to expect that someone other than yourself might experience the consequences of your actions. In this case, a man who was entrusted with representing this country in an already volatile area lost his life... because one man who had the 'freedom' and 'right' to make an insulting, ignorant video was too selfish to consider that possibility. So many people in the Middle East, Muslim or otherwise, already hate Americans. Was it really necessary to fuel that fire just because you could?

This guys isn't the only one on my list for this reason. His story was just the loudest. Let's not forget the man who shot up a Sheik Temple (having mistook it for an Islamic one) in Wisconsin a few short months ago. The fact that he couldn't take 10 minutes to do a little research is truly beside the point.
And of course just after video guy someone in Europe published a newspaper cartoon displaying Muhammad as an image (rather than a symbol which is against Islamic rule). It's so unnecessary, and quite frankly an abuse of the very rights that we fight for.

Wednesday Rants: End of Summer

This was supposed to be out yesterday. However, I decided to snuggle a sick baby boy instead of post. Sorry.

I love summer. I enjoy going to the beach or pool.  I love the Dude’s new found enthusiasm for his smoker. There’s something uplifting and liberating about summer. If nothing else, it always reminds you of being a kid and the freedom of being out of school.

I also love fall. I love the crisp air, wearing jeans and sweatshirts, and fall baking. I am thankful for the reprieve from humidity that allows me to increase the thermostat to 74 without melting everyone. I especially love that the boys can play outside for more than 5 minutes at a time.

What I hate is the transition period. It generally starts just after Labor Day and can sometimes last for a few weeks. My distaste for this particular time frame stems from a few sources. First of all, Mother Nature can’t make up her mind… it’s chilly, jacket worthy weather in the morning and warm enough for shorts by the afternoon. Mind you, this makes little difference to me since my office is sub-zero all ALL YEAR LONG. But what the heck do I dress the children in? They each own a few pair of those light weight warm up/track pants so they’ve worn them a few days this week with short sleeves and a jacket in the morning. I refuse to do laundry during the week so I when they are out of light pants I guess we’ll have to decide if it’ll be cool enough for jeans or warm enough for shorts.

I also hate the effect the changing weather has on their poor little immune system. The first DAY the temperature dropped poor D2 woke up with a hoarse voice and cough. Then of course B-dubs start to get it. And B-dubs doesn’t do sick very quietly. He woke up at least 3 times on Tuesday night coughing and hurting. Then on Wednesday he was very fussy and weepy, and coughing horribly, and had a temperature. So he got sent home from school. Of course this happens during the week that the Dude is training out of town for work and not at his office 10 minutes from preschool. The poor bubby had to wait 35+ minutes for me to get there from my office.

Speaking of my commute… one other thing I hate about summer ending is the TRAFFIC! Apparently EVEYRONE decides that after Labor Day they’d better stop taking vacations and actually go to work. I swear on the 6 lane interstate I haven’t driven over 30 MPH for three straight days. It’s hasn’t been the fault of accidents or road work either. It’s purely due to an increase in volume that is congesting my drive and making me late to work and in a foul mood. Makes me look forward to the holidays when people start slacking off at work again.

What are your favorite/least favorite things about this time of year?

Wednesday Rants: An Ignorant Phrase

I love being able to write about whatever happends to be on my mind. I enjoy being able to fluctuate from (my attempts at) wittiness to seriousness on a whim. However, as you can all attest, I struggle with writing regularly. So I thought I would try adding a little structure to my blog (we all love rules, don't we Mr. Gray?). Plus, a lot of things bug me... Thus "Wednesday Rants" was born. Why 'wednesday' you ask? Mainly because there's nothing good on TV Wednesday nights, and it's the hardest day of the week to spell and I like to challenge myself. Now stop asking questions and read on.

Wednesday Rants- "The Gays":

I recently read an article entitled 'Why The Gays Hate Their Bodies'. This was shared on Facebook by a friend (as is most of the news I read), so of course I saw only the title of the article first. I immediately had an offensive reaction to the term "The Gays".

I hate that term. It annoys me that in this day and age, after all the hard work and struggles we've overcome in the name of civil rights, that we can still say things that sound so ignorant. To me, the phrase "the gays" is implicating gay people are so fundamentally different from other humans in our society that they require their own classification. It indicates that they are merely a subset of our society rather than part of our society. It is just another way to alienate people; to seperate "us" from "them". It's really no different than "the blacks" or the ever dreaded "you people", both of which have become essentially unacceptable in our society. There's also the issue of when you generalize a whole group of people, you are gauranteed to be wrong in at least one instance.

One of the biggest flaws that we face as a country today is the race to alienate each other; to create an "us" vs. "them" mentality. We especially see this in politics (even when it's not an election year), in religion, and even in socio-economic classes. Somehow we started making our differences into dividers. We should, instead, be appreciating the differences we see in one another, and using the unique perspectives we each hold to make a better place for everyone.

Now I do have to say, I did read the article in its entirety. It was written by a gay man, and I believe he was using that particular phrase to make a point. It is still important to remember, though, that LGBT people aren't just gay/bi/transgendered. They are our brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, parents, employees. If you must address the community as a whole, how about saying "gay people". At least that attests to their humanity.

10 Things I've Learned as Mother of Boys

We all love Top 10 Lists. It's no secret, really. In fact, David Letterman has made them a part of his nightly show for YEARS. Last week while reading one of my favorite bloggesses (Jen from People I Want to Punch in the Throat) I was enlightened as to why we like them. (BTW if you haven't read her stuff yet, you seriously should. How can even think of resisting a blog with that name anyhow?)

So in the spirit of curing your boredom once again, I present to you:

10 Things I've Learned as a Mother of Boys

1. A dry erase marker does not 'dry erase' off the wall. Not even a wet "Magic Eraser" will do the
    trick. Nope. You have to completely paint over that shit.

2. Diaper cream is intentionally NON water soluble... that's why it works so well for its intended
    purpose. That also means when (not if) your son paints himself with it, it's damn.near.impossible.
    to wash off.

3. Latex paint, however, peels right off his sweet little body. (once it's mostly dry of course)

4. Throwing rocks is ALWAYS way more fun than the new $400 swingset  you excitedly put up in
    the backyard.

5. A Hot Wheel to the face will almost certainly result in at least one stitch.

6. Do not ask the question unless you are 100% sure you really want the answer. No matter how open
    or new age you think you are, you are NOT prepared for the real reason your 14 year old son was
    in the bathroom that long. (this one's from a friend who's boys are older than mine... she didn't
    relate the bathroom story but I am pretty sure that's what she was getting at...)

7. Poop (or any variation of the word) is funny. Get used to it. In fact, this isn't just limited to boys.
    If you've spent any amount of time around a full grown man you should know this to be true.

8. Anything can be a basketball if it fits through the hoop. Bounce doesn't really matter. Just ask the
    missing knick-knack from your mantle.

9.  When you are 3, every potential career is glamorous and exciting. Bdubs insists he will
      simultaneously be a "trash truck guy", a "police guy", a "firefighter guy", and Captain Hook
     when he grows up.

10. Their "peeps" is the.most.fascinating.thing.EVER. I still can't understand this... and I hear they
      never really grow out of that...

Hope you took something away from this. Also, I will be starting a new segment on the blog... Wednesday Rants. So be on the lookout for the first installment tomorrow.  

Brain Sabotage (Or: Why I can't seem to post regularly...)

My brain seems to be on permanent overdrive. This can be a positive to my life sometimes. It reminds me to set the DVR to record “The Real World”, knows all the lyrics to “funky cold medina”,  and generally reminds me to feed the chi’rens. So you know, all the important shit. But mostly, it’s a huge pain in the ass. It often forces me to focus on my [irrational] fears, like the Dude keeling over and leaving me to deal with TWO BOYS alone. It creates entire fictitious conversations that distract me the entire drive home from work, leaving me wondering how I even got there safely. The most frustrating thing the sneaky bastard does, though, is come up with GENIUS material for the blog at  THE.MOST.INOPPORTUNE.MOMENTS!! (like at 3:30 AM after B-dubs has awoken me for the 3^rd time and I can’t go back to sleep). And of course there is never a pen and paper handy to jot down this literary gold.

And if that’s not bad enough, the crafty lil sumbitch is also a habitual liar. Every time it creates one of those nuggets of blogspiration, it always follows up with “don’t worry.. you’ll remember that later…”.

Of course when later comes, I find myself staring into space anxiously urging begging my brain to recall any portion of its creation.

It’s a lot like a really nice date with someone who just charms the pants off you, and then waiting around for days for the phone call that never comes. 

But two can play at that game... I now have a notepad app on my phone, scrap paper in my purse, and a notebook in my nightstand. Let the Genius flow........

Ode to Allergies

ala Porgy and Bess

Summertime
and the livin' is sneezy.
Temp is risin'
The mercury's high.

My nose is stuffy
and I can't stop coughin'
Oh I just want to curl up
In my bed and die.

One of these mornings
I'm gonna wake up breathin'
Then I'll feel rested;
Get to work on time.

But until that morning
I'll keep blowin' my nose
with Puffs plus with Lotion every time.

Claratin
Don't seem to be helpin'.
One eye's watery,
The other is dry.

Head's in pain
From the sinus pressure.
I just want to curl up
In my bed and die.

Letter to My Boys

When each of my boys turned one, in lieu of gifts we asked our friends and family to donate an interesting item to a time capsule that they will open on their 16th birthday. I intending on contributing a letter (handwritten of course) to say how special they each are to me, and lay out my hopes and dreams for them. Well, until now there was nary a letter to be seen. Every time I thought about what to write, it just didn't feel right. The sentences always started "I hope you..." or "I want you..." and I would immediately think about the expectations I am putting on them. There is no way to know what life will bring. What happens if they opened that letter at 16 that said "I hope you always do well in school" but they just failed their second semester of Algebra. The other day I began thinking about what I really hope for them, beyond the superficial; the things that really matter in this world aren't report cards or home runs. They aren't accomplishments, but ways of being, and I have a vital responsibility in creating the environment those "ways of being" can flourish within. Finally I have my letter to my boys.

Dear M & B,

I hope I have taught you that it’s okay to always be yourself; you have the right to express yourself freely without fear of judgment. I hope I’ve nurtured your confidence enough to weather what judgment may come, and the wisdom to value the opinions of those who love you above those who judge. I hope I’ve modeled tolerance and that my example has showed you how to embrace differences and respect all people. I hope I’ve passed along the importance of doing the right thing (even when it’s hard and unpopular), standing up for those who cannot stand up for themselves. I hope I’ve taught you compassion for those in need, and above all else to love unconditionally. I hope I’ve shown you that although this world is never fair and often disappoints, there is always a reason to be grateful. Most of all, I hope I’ve filled your heart with love and kindness and mercy. 

Love, 

Mom

Calling Customer Service: You're Doing It Wrong.

It becomes more and more apparent every day that most people lack the proper amount of common sense. This generally directly affects me only occasionally. When it comes to being at the receiving end of about 50 phone calls a day, however, I am beginning to lose all hope in humanity. So, I've decided to provide the world with some general guidelines to follow should you ever find yourself calling or emailing customer service/tech support. You're Welcome.

1. Have your account number available. This just screams OBVIOUS to me, but the sheer number of morons that call me without this handy little tidbit  proves otherwise. Depending on where you are calling, you are one of a MILLION customers. Telling me you are Linda from Smith's Company does not help me locate your account. At all.

2. Keep the attitude about verifying information to yourself.  We live in a world in which there are way to many liars and thieves. We ask you to verify information for your protection. But, if you prefer to not confirm WHAT WE ALREADY HAVE ON FILE, I'll gladly give your home phone number to the next Joe Schmo that asks for it.

3. If your mind has been temporarily inhabited by and asshole, hang up. Yes, the company sucks. So do their 'policies and procedures'. And guess what else.... the person with whom happenstance has connected you probably feels the same way you do. But it's a J.O.B. and, just as you are, they are trying to get by. The amount of jerk you are directly correlates to the mount of shit they give to your predicament... which translates into you're problem is less likely to get solved.

4. If you're in a hurry, consider calling when you're not. The average length of a service call is between 7 and 10 minutes. That doesn't include the fancy recording that answers first and asks you a million questions. If you're situation is especially complicated, it may take even longer. If you want your issue handled correctly, you need to exercise a little patience. If you're fresh out for the day, call tomorrow.

5. Please speak up. We generally wear crappy headsets that have a very limited amount of volume control. If you notice the representative asking you to repeat yourself, it is not because they are a moron. It's because you aren't speaking loudly enough, or very clearly, or both. And for the love of all that's holy, don't call while you're chasing storms or while your three year old is in the midst of an epic tantrum. One fault of technology is that the microphones on cell phones pick up background noise much better than your voice.

6. The proper way to end a phone conversation... is to wait until the other person has completed their sentence and then say Goodbye. Hell, I don't even care if you say "thank you" anymore. Just don't HANG UP ON ME while I am completing the scripted ending of my call. I know hearing "we appreciate your business" does not always sound sincere, especially since your probably the 35th person I've said it to today. But I have just done something to help you, or at the very least I've listened to you complain for 30 minutes. Return the favor. Be polite.

My Kids Are Cuter Than Your Kids

Let me just get this out in the open. Just because I have children does not automatically bond us in friendship, or even acquaintanceship. More importantly, the display of photos of my kids on my desk is not an invitation to show me pictures of yours.

See, my kids are freaking cute. They may very well be the cutest, most adorable micro-humans on the face of the earth. They both have heart-warming smiles and twinkly little angel eyes. Their sweet little faces are just perfect. I keep their images at my desk because they bring me a little bit of joy and calm during my day of dealing with idiots. My shrine to these amazing little specimens is not to incite conversation from you. You may very well earn brownie points by complimenting my little guys. However, the second you pull out your phone (because who carries photos in their wallet anymore?) those points instantly disappear. Along with my respect. If I WANTED to see your heathens, I'd troll your desk... or Face Book page. But I don't. Because my kids are cuter than your kids.

Sometimes Life Gets in the Way

I know, I know… It’s been too long since I’ve graced the public with my wit and wisdom. I realize my legions of fans (**ahem** the three of you) must be disappointed and bored with not have any new posts to read. I could rattle off a slew of excuses, but let’s be honest, I don’t have time for all that… and you wouldn’t believe it anyway. Instead, allow me to humbly apologize and let’s just move on already.

Over the past few months I have been on an organizing/purging binge. (In other words, getting rid of a bunch of shit). I’ve gotten a lot of inspiration from Pinterest (the world’s SINGLE GREATEST invention amirite?) I’ve organized my pantry, kitchen drawers and cabinets, my craft room, and the holy mess of ‘stuff’ under my bathroom sink. I’ve gotten rid of about 2 years  worth of boy clothes and have a large amount of rarely (or never) touched toys ready to be donated.

In addition I’ve also attempted to organize my life. I’ve been trying to make exercise a higher priority. (And by priority I mean actually do some form of exercise once in a while.) I plan to set aside one night a week and maybe some weekend time to crafting, and one night a week to write. This should be pretty easy during the summer, but once Prime Time TV starts back up, I can make no guarantees. Nonetheless you may now rejoice at the prospect of more posts. J

Keep an eye out for some projects to be posted under “crafty things” too.  

Today We Celebrate... ME!

This morning my darling children showered me with several mother's day gifts. They included:

1. A mystery plant (this thing BETTER not turn into a vegetable)
2. Two paper flowers with chenille stems shoved into a hunk of clay (might make a good paper weight)
3. A giant mug inscribed in sharpie with "worlds best mom" and their names. (I actually give G credit for  this.. it's pretty much payback for the one I got him last year, and an homage to the late great Michael Scott. He did pick a large mug, and I have an affinity for office supplies, so it'll make a great pen holder)
4. A card from the boys that says "if you were a rock star...." (Thanks for crushing the delusion that I actually was a rockstar)
5. A card from G that implies I steal the covers (nothing but lies...)
 
 I guess what's really important is what the gifts really say. Here's what I imagine my children would really be telling me if they could.

1. Thanks for making idle threats and letting us get away with things. Truth is, we'd probably do it anyway; your weak consequences are so worth it.
2. Thanks for teaching me not to play with my penis in public. Although this makes no sense to me now, I will be grateful to evade arrest in the future.
3. Thank you for giving up after the third time I've woken up and letting me sleep with you at 3:30 AM.
4. Thanks for not kicking me out of your bed when I elbow you in the face at 3:45.
5. and finally, Thank you for reminding me we are late in the morning. I would never know we were behind schedule if you didn't tell me I had 2 minutes to finish my breakfast 5 different times.

Yeah, my kids are pretty lucky they got me! Hope all of you had as great a Mother's Day as I did!! 

Fair is Fair

(warning... this post is a bit long, and very serious)

Some time ago, I had a conversation with my oldest son while we were driving in the car. He asked me something that prompted me to (jokingly) respond with "you are not allowed to get married until you are 35". Well, he's pretty sharp for a 4 year old and quickly pointed out that I was not yet 35. Of course, I was then obligated to answer seriously. "Actually, you can get married after you turn 18 and find the person you love the most".

Well, if this conversation had happened today I would have to add "as long as that person's a woman or you move to New York.". Tuesday night, an amendment to the North Carolina Constitution was passed that causes my heart to be heavy and sad. In short, the amendment officially changes the constitutional definition of marriage to state "marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union...". (And to be fair, I am not short changing the amendment... it truly is only 3 sentences long.)

On the surface, I am sad because I truly, wholeheartedly believe in marriage equality. I don't even know why its an issue in this country in 2012. We've come so far over the years to treat everyone equally and lead the world in Human Rights efforts. It's sad to think we still can't get over ourselves on this issue.

The amendment is not only a gay rights issue. It will also have far reaching effects for non-married straight couples. For example, I have an aunt who was with her boyfriend for about 15 years. They shared a home, shared finances, helped care for each other's children. They were essentially married without the piece of paper. He passed away earlier this year. Had that happened here in NC after this amendment, and his family wanted to fight her on his wishes, she wouldn't have a leg to stand on since their relationship was illegal according to the state constitution.

My disappointment goes much deeper, though. What the amendment stands for is almost as detrimental as what it says. First of all, there is already a law on the books in NC that bans same-sex marriage. Changing the constitution to reflect this is just kicking someone when he's down. It will effectively prevent future attempts at changing the law by making it "unconstitutional". Also, historically (based on amendments to the US Constitution) changes to the backbone of a society are used to clarify and grant rights, not revoke them. North Carolina is the last state in "the south" to adopt such an amendment. Instead of taking this opportunity to be a leader, a shining example of the progress our country is inevitably headed towards, we've joined ranks with the 'good ol' boys' as to not disrupt the Scotch sipping parlor conversations. I know in part, my disappointment can be attributed to caring and being optimistic. I really believed this would not pass, I passionately voted against, publicised my viewpoint, and encouraged others to do the same. I felt connected to the issue and it just plain hurts that it did not go the way I hoped.

Ultimately I do feel this will be repealed. It will take time, and more tax payer and philanthropic dollars. But if there is one truth I have discovered about the LGBT community is they do not back down. They do not give up. I am so proud of my LGBT family and friends for the work they have done and will continue to do.

I realize I am so very lucky. I have an amazing, sweet, loving, kind, caring husband. He builds me up when I need it, supports me in my choices (even when they're a little crazy). He provides for our family without question or complaint. And he's the most amazing father. I just hope that one day, if either of my sons decides they want the same thing, they won't have to fight for it.

Parenting: I'm doing it right.

So the boys have kind of been into 'guns' and 'shooting bad guys' lately. They generally use anything they can point (i.e. a pencil, their fingers, etc) and make 'pew pew' noises.

One lazy Sunday morning a few weeks back, all four of us were lounging in M's room.

M:  "Pew, pew I got you mom, you're dead."
me:  "Rawr, I'm a Zombie now."
M: "Pew, I shot you. You're dead."
me: "You can't kill me, I'm a Zombie. I'm already dead." (grabbing his head and pretend to gnaw on it.)
       "Nom, Nom... I'm eating your brains."

fast foward a few hours to all of us in the car....

G: (conversation unprovoked) "I can't believe you told him Zombie's would eat his brains."
me: "How else you expect him to be prepared for the Zombie Apocolypse?"

Yeah, I totally got this parenting thing down.

I may be late to the party, but at least I'm pretty....

I can't believe it's done- my very first blog post. Yeah, I know... welcome to the 21st century, right? One can only procrastinate prepare for so long however, so alas I am here.

"What can I expect from this modern day literary masterpiece-in-waiting?" you wonder. Well, I am so glad you asked. In short, you can expect a little bit of everything. Most posts will be related to parenting, relationships, and that elusive work-life balance. There may be occassional bragging about something crafty I've done. (Because let's face it, if you can't brag about yourself, who will do it for you?) But whatever the topic, rest assured that it will be chock full of my opinions and outlook on life. I will try to employ time-tested literary devices such as Humor and Satire as often as I possibly can. If you don't laugh, or don't 'get it', you may want to check your pulse. I guarantee it's you, not me.
In addition to funny, (and here's your only disclaimer people) you may encounter the occassional vulgarity**. Because curse words make me damn funny. I'm not afraid of a serious post, but only in times when it's truly warranted.

Your next question is "why blog?", right? The answer is relatively simple. I have tons of dialogue running through my head at any given time. This blog will be an avenue to get it all out so I don't turn into the crazy cat lady muttering incoherently.

(this image does not belong to me. I think it belongs to Fox)

I have been seriously inspired by some very funny lady bloggers, and am so thankful for the path they've paved. I honestly follows these ladies on a daily basis. You have got to check them out.

Kristine at http://www.waitinthevan.com/

Liz at http://www.flourishinprogress.com/

Jen at http://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/ 
ALL of the lovely ladies at http://www.mouthyhousewives.com/

There is another blog I follow that is so very inspirational. The strength, and faith, and love that Christina offers her family (and the world) really touches me. http://www.motherquest4.blogspot.com/

**out of courtesy for my audience I will try to refrain from using the "f" word... too much**